tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28632081129141040062012-02-17T09:36:24.534-08:00Sometimes the biggest issues facing a project manager, are the ones no one wants to talk about. These tales talk about that gorilla in the room and how to tackle him.Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.comBlogger621100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-71958769903639649842012-02-16T22:22:00.000-08:002012-02-17T09:00:07.183-08:00

  Dear Hogarth, I want to become project manager. Can you give me some advice on what to do? Thanks, - Aspiring cat herder Dear Aspiring, Run, run as far as you can. Barring that, I recommend you have your head examined. I mean, seriously, if you do your job well no one will notice you. If the project fails, you'll be standing right next to the product manager when they

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-12694943736027871092012-02-09T17:09:00.000-08:002012-02-09T17:09:19.170-08:00

It was dark… very dark. The darkness would have been complete, save for the blue-tinged glow coming from my monitor. With an annoyed sigh, I reached over and flicked on my desk lamp, restoring a moderate pool of light to my desk. I really hated it when the janitors turned off all the lights when they left. Didn't they know people were trying to work? "I'm pretty sure that's singular

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-87056694359139102162012-02-01T10:43:00.000-08:002012-02-01T12:57:17.479-08:00

  Hogarth shoveled another handful of popcorn into his mouth (Yes, gorillas like popcorn - read the right sidebar, go figure). He was sitting at the end of the table, size huge feet propped up on the table and looked as if he were thoroughly enjoying himself. Which couldn't be said for me. I turned back to the discussion at the table, wishing a crack in the earth would open and swallow me up

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-39705166484391307272012-01-26T15:33:00.000-08:002012-02-01T11:55:01.521-08:00

"What do you mean he said it's crap?!?" Jake's voice thundered. I'm pretty sure there was steam coming out of his ears . I could feel my own kettle on a rapid boil myself so Jack must have been at nuclear meltdown stage.  I turned and cast a sympathetic eye down the table. Poor, Bob, our hapless product manager looked like he'd just been served up as the main course at a great white shark

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-26766529475170546732012-01-20T11:20:00.000-08:002012-01-20T11:20:07.826-08:00

  In response to Agileexam Gate: "Hey. Can I ask you about project Pompeii's status?" I tensed up , turning slowly to face Molly. She was the program manager on another project, which had some dependencies on my project. Okay, had a lot of dependencies on my project. I plastered a smile on my face. "Sure, Molly, what's up?" Looking down at her notes, she said "You're reporting

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-69135467909863479512012-01-13T12:45:00.000-08:002012-01-20T11:30:14.641-08:00

"YES! I HAVE ARRIVED!" Oh life was good, oh so good. I read the email one more time before leaning back in my seat with a self-satisfied grin. I even went so far as to kick off my shoes and toss my feet up on the desk. In a bygone decade I would have pulled a cigar from my pocket and lit it in a self-congratulatory act of hedonism. Instead I satisfied myself with lacing my hands behind my

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-38785793625167568482011-12-28T20:48:00.000-08:002012-01-20T11:34:07.379-08:00

Tap, tap, tap… Click to refresh. Sigh, "nothing." Tap, tap, tap… Click to refresh. Sigh, "nothing." "What'cha doing? " Groan, just what I need. "I'm waiting for an email, Hogarth." My banana breathed gorilla leaned on the desk, causing it to groan in protest. "You do realize that PMI said it wouldn't be until January that they said who passed the ACP?" I threw up my hands in

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-66180926277497205712011-12-23T09:08:00.000-08:002011-12-23T09:17:47.109-08:00

"WAIT, WAIT, What?" Bob hasn't been handling stress to well lately. His last word broke into a near falsetto and the tick above his eye was threatening to register on the Richter scale. Monica didn't seem the least phased by the outburst. I think it would have taken a good 9.0 to shake the plastic smile from her face. "Marketing thinks Pantone Snorkel Blue 19-4049 is not the right

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-33320332793940348252011-12-16T16:27:00.000-08:002011-12-16T16:27:38.980-08:00

Bang… Bang… Bang… You know the nice thing about banging your head on the desk? It feels so great when you stop. Bang… Bang… Bang… The smell of banana proceeded the lumbering form that entered my office. "You're gonna break the desk like that," Hogarth said. Just great, honestly I hadn't done anything wrong this time. Why was he here? "Go away, Hogarth. Let me be miserable in

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-33025641276181075472011-12-14T11:38:00.000-08:002011-12-14T15:42:07.470-08:00

"Yeah, sure no problem. I can get that done." I hung up the phone, a cheerful smile on my face, and turned back to my computer. Only to be faced with a staggering to do list awash in the red of late deliverables. Why the heck did I just say yes to another deliverable? I was already behind on a half dozen and the list of commitments just for this week was enough to keep me busy through to

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-4950377590315449372011-12-06T21:46:00.001-08:002011-12-06T21:50:11.281-08:00

On December 6th, 2011 Rally held the first launch event for their new Agile Portfolio Management product. Hogarth and I were there. My fingers were flying at the speed of bad bugs appearing in legacy code. The darkness of the room barely slowed me down and I mentally gave a thanks that my keyboard was so silent. I'd be caught up with the project plan by the end of the presentation at this

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-91366868700821947332011-12-02T15:19:00.001-08:002011-12-02T15:23:28.987-08:00

This blog originally appeared on PMChat.net. I heartily recommend this site and more importantly the weekly Twitter chat that Rob Kelly and Rob Prinzo host with the hashtag #pmchat. Thanks again to Rob and Rob for inviting me to speak in the PMChat pre-game call and to share this blog on their site. “Hogarth?” My mind was still trying to comprehend the scene before me, but my mouth

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-18910471750509433502011-11-22T17:05:00.001-08:002011-11-22T17:05:33.053-08:00

"Sigh… I just couldn't bring myself to come up with a more energetic response than that. Wednesday had arrived with all the energy of a three legged turtle hopped up on warm milk. The clocked ticked over to 8:00 am and I opened up my calendar to see what the schedule had in store for the day. "Oh, look. Just like last Wednesday. And the Wednesday before that, and the one before that, and

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-27827368282724774462011-11-11T08:46:00.001-08:002011-11-11T08:52:49.960-08:00

Photo Courtesy of: gorillagolfblog.com It was like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. No matter how many times I moved the boxes around, the data still showed the damning truth. Failure. The project was a failure and there was no amount of lipstick I could slap on it to make it anything else. The executive review was going to be painful. “FORE!” A golf ball whizzed

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-70084228182248283692011-11-04T08:25:00.001-07:002011-11-09T22:03:53.580-08:00

"So what do you do?" See, this is why I hate dinner parties. Now if I was a doctor, a pilot, heck even a mechanic, it would be easy. I'd just say it and we'd move on to the meaningless small talk portion of the evening. But no... I had to decide to become a project manager, even worse an agile project manager. With a deep internal sigh I sized up the person who had just asked me

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-73919874241870053292011-10-26T15:29:00.000-07:002011-11-09T22:03:17.038-08:00

Some days I was so thankful for the fact I worked in a three story building. It made the urge to toss myself off it, to end the misery, so much less. Unless If I  was really lucky I'd just end up hurting myself and that would just add to the miserable condition I was in. Hogarth was right... Oh how I hated to think those three words. It was becoming such a common occurrence that I was

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-27438955559668706072011-09-23T12:49:00.000-07:002011-11-14T17:37:32.650-08:00

"Okay and Eric, you were working on the shopping cart ordering story, right?" Eric nodded, but remained silent. "And tomorrow you should be done and moving on to the Wish List story, right?" He nodded again, still silent. He was a good engineer, never spoke unless he really had something to say. "Any impediments?" Eric looked around the table at the other seated engineers.

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-60447665234668317812011-09-01T13:23:00.001-07:002011-09-01T13:23:53.389-07:00

C… O… C… L… S… I… O… N… The typewriter sound as each letter flew onto the screen gave me a satisfied grin. Nothing like great sound effects to go with some killer slide animation. It had taken me the better part of a week, but I was done with the quarterly report. It was my first report and I was determined to make it memorable. I hit save and sat back to wait for status bar to creep towards

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  Photo from Wikipedia  "I CAN'T BELIEVE THE NERVE!" I stormed into my office, barely catching the door before I slammed it for all it was worth. I compensated for the averted door slam by tossing my notebook across the room. Stalking after it, I noticed Hogarth reclining in the corner of the room. I didn't even look at him, I was in no mood to have my head

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-3527224550053316942011-08-19T13:42:00.000-07:002011-08-19T13:42:39.016-07:00

"Listen, Jake, I need something here." I leaned in over his desk, doing my best convincing look.. The development manager shook his head. "We're in the middle of a sprint. When the sprint is over I can pull Eric from the team for the next sprint and have him focus on this." I sighed. He was right. No matter how important this was, we were in the middle of a development sprint. We couldn't pull

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-28566317354228187422011-08-12T16:26:00.000-07:002011-08-19T15:54:16.824-07:00

The sweat on my brow was threatening to swamp my eyes in their salty haze. Frantically wiping my face, I returned my hands to the keyboard. "Come on, there has to be something… Anything?" The screen updated and the information it offered up gave me no relief. "Ah hell! Come on, it can't be that hard! There has to be something." By now I was getting well and truly desperate. If I didn't find

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-31847777019898949532011-08-03T15:12:00.000-07:002011-08-19T15:57:15.366-07:00

Finally! Just the prep class I'd be looking for. It fit everything I needed, namely a one stop shop that would teach me everything I needed to pass the exam and all that in just six days of intensive training. The certification was as much as mine! "Why?" I damn near leapt out of my skin and did leap from my chair. Clutching my chest I whirled about. "Hogarth!" I blurted. I swear, if I ever

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-71927503625143155932011-07-27T08:02:00.000-07:002011-07-27T08:02:17.002-07:00

  Clipart from Clipartheaven.com And: Book/Workshop Review- Artful Making My stomach was in tight knots that threatened to force what little breakfast I had eaten to come back up for discussion. I could feel my palms sweating. Not the "just a little moist" sweating. No this was the, "dripping off my hands" sweating. In short I was a complete and utter mess. And the planning meeting was going to

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-56380880414281483242011-07-19T21:04:00.000-07:002011-07-25T12:37:51.017-07:00

Jake was pinned to his seat by the spotlight's intense beam. "Where were you when the code check-in introduced four P1 bugs?" "I, uh, what?" Jake stammered. I spun the spotlight and speared Bob with its white light. "The requirements document failed to take into account the Fergusson account. Why?" Bob shifted in his seat. "It was Jane's fault, she didn't file a sales report for Fergusson!"

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-828812010072774312011-07-08T11:18:00.000-07:002011-07-25T12:38:19.496-07:00

Or- How not to be a Twitter Sinner My computer finished resuming with a happy chirp. In seconds it was pulling down data from the internet and my applications were all madly updating. Taking a slug of coffee I popped open Tweetdeck and looked to see what gems the night's rest had produced. Two minutes later I'd already pushed out at least a dozen retweets "Whoa there, Tex, slow down

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-55426241828991512142011-07-01T13:13:00.000-07:002011-07-25T12:37:29.825-07:00

Or- Are you making the most of your time I was elbow deep in the case of a server. I'd almost gotten the broken fan free, if only it would just… "Wha'cha doing?" Hogarth asked. Let me tell you, when an 800 pound gorilla starts sounding like a Fireside Girl, it certainly gets your attention. Looking up from the computer I said "Oh, great, your just in time. Pass me that screwdriver, will you?" I

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-76159533233061250362011-06-14T11:33:00.000-07:002011-07-10T16:08:25.971-07:00

 Image courtesty of http://www.fundraw.com/  Or- The project manager's uniform I was madly typing away, on the latest project status report, when Doug rapped on the door to my office (Doug was our HR guy).  Pushing away from my keyboard I smiled up at him, instantly making him the focus of my attention. "Doug, good to see you please have a seat… Umm" I looked around my office. Every

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-69821466328939805012011-06-01T09:45:00.000-07:002011-07-25T12:39:21.271-07:00

Or: Finding my own business philosophy on project management (and other business management) The training room was packed. Nearly everyone from the department was there and we were all interested to know what the all hands meeting was about. Things were going really good. The company was doing great. We'd gotten past the uber release of the year and were all breathing a sigh of relief. My job

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-15938064696362440862011-05-27T13:54:00.001-07:002011-07-25T12:39:46.350-07:00

We were really cranking through the PowerPoint. I was so energized. We were finally making some honest to goodness progress on the project plan and I had some glimmer of hope that we'd make the next milestone. All of a sudden Jake looks down at his phone. His face soured for a second and then he quickly shut his computer. "I've got to go to another meeting." Another meeting? I started to panic,

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-28060493244484718852011-05-13T16:39:00.001-07:002011-07-25T12:40:37.007-07:00

"Man! Did you see that pass, it was sweet!" "Apparently the team's chopper had a malfunction, the explosion was the scuttling charges." I wound my way through the incomprehensible hallway conversations, making for my desk and the incredibly long to do list waiting for me. "Hey!" Bob called out to me. "Some speech, wasn't it?" I gave a half nod and walked faster.  "Speech?" What the heck was he

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-80499948581744628262011-04-27T12:13:00.000-07:002011-07-25T12:41:32.390-07:00

- Or walk a mile in the gorilla's shoes This blog inspired by Tobias Meyer's recent blog "Scrum is not Project Management" Normally I don't let Hogarth follow me home. There are limits and that's just one of them. The thought of an 800 pound gorilla on my couch is a terrifying one. And then there is what he does to the refrigerator. Did I mention gorilla hair on the white carpet? But it was the

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-23982261508993780162011-04-21T12:23:00.000-07:002011-07-25T12:42:13.284-07:00

"Arrgh! I already told you, he's no longer with the company!" Bob's blood pressure had to be rising. Yes, his door was open, but I was also six cubes down the hall and could hear every word he said easily. He was talking on the phone, so I had to imagine what the other side was saying, but I could imagine. "Look, I was his manager, I just want his laptop for a couple of hours so we can get some

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-64832550647093415912011-04-12T12:45:00.000-07:002011-07-25T12:43:14.277-07:00

This is really about project management, trust me. "The client is screaming bloody murder." Bob was sincerely agitated. Not his normal "we have a million dollar deal on the table" passion, but honest to goodness agitation, beads of sweat and all. "They rolled out the portal in their China office and all hell's broken loose. They ordered their long lead time parts to arrive on March 11th. When

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-29577650665896387942011-04-06T10:34:00.000-07:002011-07-25T12:43:34.344-07:00

The mountain of books threatened to collapse the desk. Cubicle desks were just not designed to support the weight of so many books. Though I suppose the gorilla was the real issue. "Hagarth?" I didn't really need to finish the question, he knew what I was about to say. "I'm sharpening the saw," he said, not looking up from a book titled "The inter-dynamics of banana diplomacy when used in a

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-91806936051150063432011-03-31T08:50:00.000-07:002011-11-17T22:17:45.599-08:00

Or- Ripped from Today's headlines; PMP certification and $4 will buy you a cup of coffee! It was late evening at my office. I was still there to take a conference call with one of our Chinese out source firms. I strode purposefully down the hallway and straight into the conference room. I stopped short. I backed up and looked at the name of the conference room. Yes, I was in the right

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The Time: 7:15PM, The Location: My office "Hogarth!" My gorilla looked over the top of the Wall Street Journal. He was leaned back in my chair, his size twenties on my desk. "Yes?" "What are you doing?" "I'm reading the paper and being lazy, you should try it." I stalked into my office, waving a stack of papers in front of me. "I don't have time to be lazy! There's a dozen things that need to

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-58961285352501268722011-03-22T13:47:00.000-07:002011-03-22T13:47:18.547-07:00

Or- How to solve a problem you lack the authority/resources to solve. Ever have a day where you feel utterly powerless? Where your every act carries as much power as a waterlogged facial tissue holding back a runaway train? Okay, okay, I know, that that's the normal state of being for a project manager. But I mean really and truly feeling like you have no more influence then a viagra spam email.

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-13349351806330887272011-03-14T22:26:00.000-07:002011-03-14T22:26:41.570-07:00

Or- Welcome to the 21st century, you are always "in public" Bob sat down in the chair across from me, a conspiratorial smile on his face. Unseen by Bob, Hogarth silently lumbered past to perch on the desk section behind me. Bob was part of my program team, Hogarth was just a 'bit of undigested beef', so I focused my attention on Bob. "What can I do for you Bob?" "Man can you believe they

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-76690171960226898202011-03-09T10:28:00.000-08:002011-11-11T22:04:19.645-08:00

Or- My personal Aha Moment, on the value of an Agile Certification. I should have known communication was going to be an issue from the start. When the Director of IT clarified that he was in charge of Interactive Telemarketing and the guy in charge of the actual infrastructure was called the Director of Data Management, it should have been a clue to the coming communication issues. "So

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-71802614795746710742011-02-25T12:01:00.000-08:002011-11-11T22:05:10.168-08:00

  There is something eternally satisfying in closing the back cover of a hard copy book. Especially when the book was such an enjoyable read. In this age of reading books on Kindle, iPad, printer paper or listening via serial podcast or audio book format, reading a good old fashioned book still has so much emotional content tied up in it. Perhaps the millennial generation will/does feel

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The project meeting was moving forward very well. We were tracking on everything and it looked like we'd actually have the release out on time, and with everything we wanted in it. We had just gotten to the issues with the flux capacitor redesign work and I asked Paul, the engineer, when he would be able to give an updated report on completion. Paul shifted in his seat, stealing a glance at

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- Or, saving time does not save work. [Before we dive into another, great Gorilla, I'd like to ask a favor. If you find these blogs informative, please post a comment. If you find them really valuable, please tell your friends, tweet the link, mention me on your Facebook. The only way I know if my advice is helpful, is if I hear from you. - Thank you - ] My head hurt. The stack of work

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-42247304390046421212011-02-01T13:34:00.001-08:002011-11-10T14:58:04.549-08:00

Or- How to enact change control under resistance. The office was deserted. Only a few lights burned like pools of florescent haze.Using the light cast off of my monitor to see by, I typed furiously at my keyboard. My masterpiece was nearly complete. I lovingly stroked the cover of a book lying just outside the illumination cast by the monitor. "Soon, soon my precious we shall have them

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-91421415670342630392011-01-28T09:13:00.001-08:002011-01-28T09:13:31.923-08:00

Or- your culture is more than your developers. [Disclaimer: This is based on observing the industry and an amalgamation of many peoples past job experiences. It does not represent any one company or person's experiences, past or present. ] I was doing everything right. My laptop was closed, the projection screen showing a high level status dashboard, as I focused on looking around the room. Pen

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-62126182227370414852011-01-24T10:36:00.001-08:002011-02-01T13:45:12.025-08:00

The program team meeting was progressing. Progressing might be a strong word, maybe it was crawling along like a drunk slug in an ice storm. I looked down at my screen, scrolling through several pages of data in silence before half looking up again. "According to the reports, we have four P1 blockers on the release, Jake what's the status?" Bob's eyes half flicked up from his computer screen

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-34637089383379010952011-01-07T15:46:00.001-08:002011-02-01T13:45:38.226-08:00

"What'cha doin?" Hogarth's question was nonchalant and as innocent as a cat burglar caught hanging from the ceiling. "Remember when I was out of work last year," I said. "I tried to apply project management discipline to my job hunt, but it just ended up being a revolving to do list. I think if I use OpenAgile, instead of Scrum, we might really be onto something." Dropping onto the couch

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-3363225016495929722011-01-03T22:24:00.001-08:002011-02-01T13:45:56.480-08:00

It is probably fortunate Hogarth eats so many bananas. The smell of them makes it nearly impossible for him to sneak up on me. And if you've never had a 900 pound gorilla sneak up on you, you've never had a project go from green to all hands on deck in a matter of hours. But I digress. "What'r you doing?" Hogarth asked around a double mouthful of bananas. "Reading about OpenAgile" I said, not

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-37104174327345137502010-12-23T11:57:00.001-08:002011-02-01T13:46:37.052-08:00

I look up from my computer screen, grinning. "So, Hogarth, how can you tell the project manager in the room?" My Gorilla turns from the mini Christmas tree on my bookshelf. Holding the tiny glass ornament in his big hand he cocks a hairy eyebrow, "How?" "By the knives in his back!" I grin merrily at the self deprecating joke. Hogarth cocks his head to the side, peering at me quizzically, "But

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-19783591203559327492010-12-15T20:31:00.001-08:002011-11-15T16:56:03.375-08:00

[This blog is dedicated to Skip La Fetra, facilitator of the Silicon valley PMI job search breakfast. He led a great meeting that tackled this gorilla in a wonderful way and inspired this blog.] The jingle of bells battered my skull like a thousand tiny anvils being dropped from orbit. Grabbing my skull I turned from my desk to take in a sight I immediately wished I could erase from my memory.

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-84821172373323794762010-12-09T21:32:00.001-08:002011-02-01T13:48:43.004-08:00

How many PMs does it take to change a light bulb?.... I've always believed that a project manager who can't laugh at themselves is a project manger who's headed for serious heart burn. So with that... …Two, one to change the light bulb and one to tell the other how much faster it would have gone using Agile.

Joel Bancroft-Connorshttps://profiles.google.com/100871016354679032386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-62684975937987867582010-12-03T12:51:00.001-08:002011-11-14T17:20:30.514-08:00

[Non-legal mumbo jumbo: This piece was inspired by a conversation with fellow PMs at a Silicon Valley PMI job search networking breakfast. That conversation inspired me to write this little piece of fiction to bring my revelations to light. This blog goes the next step beyond the "Too many hat" blog that I did in February.]   "Well it's rather complicated", the words were spoken by the

Joel Bancroft-Connors, PMPnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-67318190332741933752010-11-19T14:56:00.001-08:002011-02-01T13:50:11.964-08:00

[Non-legal mumbo jumbo: This piece is wholly made up based on multiple experiences I've seen and heard over the last 20 years. It does not reflect any actual single event. ] They say walls have ears. Well they may not have ears, but the rice paper thin walls here means it's hard not to hear the conversation in the next office over. "Thank you for coming, 'Bob'." shuffle, shuffle, "It's been

Joel Bancroft-Connors, PMPnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-30266112466463025822010-11-09T11:38:00.001-08:002011-12-17T10:01:06.829-08:00

I sat back in my chair, trying to determine at what point I had lost all control of the meeting. I mean as a project manager it is pretty important to be in control, so it is doubly so to know at what point you absolutely and without a doubt lost control. I think it was the moment the Exec asked "Why the hell is unicorn blue?!" (Okay it's not a unicorn and it wasn't blue, but for the sake

Joel Bancroft-Connors, PMPnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-19644356057053129542010-03-24T14:24:00.001-07:002010-03-24T14:24:17.956-07:00

Hogarth has the day off today. This is just a quick snap shot from the Project Manager wars.   I've worked in Silicon Valley for a very long time. In that time I have managed to completely avoid ever having to carry a BlackBerry. In fact until last year I avoided any kind of mobile email device. Last year I became an iPhone user at work and have kept using it as a personal device. Never having

Joel Bancroft-Connors, PMPnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-79207012871037346892010-03-17T14:25:00.001-07:002011-11-14T17:15:57.681-08:00

There I sat, skimming through Monster job listings. "Out of state, not enough pay, under qualified, over qualified.. Ah ha!" Like it was outlined in glowing neon letters, it jumped out at me. Perfect location, good benefits, looked like it would pay just right. I clicked on the 'apply now' button with eager glee. I browsed to my job hunting folder and found my resume,

Joel Bancroft-Connors, PMPnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-56835069332268549792010-02-12T12:46:00.001-08:002011-11-14T17:14:50.954-08:00

"So that said, can you code?" I look across the interview table. Well okay I look at the telephone, cause I'm in the companies office but the person I'm interviewing with is sitting in his house 20 miles away. But that's another gorilla. So I look at the phone. I look down at my resume. I look at the job description for this job. Apparently, my interviewer takes my stunned silence

Joel Bancroft-Connors, PMPnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-45155568797782831072010-01-25T21:28:00.001-08:002010-01-25T21:30:38.916-08:00

Greetings all!   After a long holiday break Hogarth and I are finally back. Hogarth is still getting over a banana hang over so today we'll take a break from our normal format to offer up a book review.   I am a member of the Bay Area Agile Planning Leadership Network. Recently BayAPLN was asked to review a selection of books. I volunteered, hoping to learn about some new tools and pass on my

Joel Bancroft-Connors, PMPnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-5758782939661461112009-12-21T16:51:00.001-08:002011-02-01T13:54:23.793-08:00

[Thanks to Phillip Chen, for the inspiration for this blog. His discussion thread on "Do you tailor PMBOK or other PM methodologies for your projects?" in the PMP LinkedIn group, sparked a reply by myself that spawned this blog. ] Things are really looking up. Just got transferred to the newly formed product incubation group. The company is finally putting innovation up as one of the top three

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"Absolutely not! That would be a complete waste of resources and I won't sanction it." Around the table feet shuffle, eyes find fascinating patterns in carpets and ceiling tiles and not a person responds to the declarative outburst. Deeply intent on your nearly empty page of notes, you try and ignore the looming form of Hogarth the gorilla. "I thought the product manager owned the product?" he

Joel Bancroft-Connors, PMPnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-87302633575244749642009-11-18T19:58:00.001-08:002011-11-11T22:24:16.222-08:00

"Hogarth, what are you doing?!" Hogarth looks up from where he's causally perched on the corner of my desk. Holding up a piece of paper he asks, "Did you know your resume is three years out of date?" "Not now, Hogarth, I have a report to write, then I have a beta planning meeting and tonight I've got to fix the garage door." I shoulder past him, to drop into my chair. "Besides," I say, "

Joel Bancroft-Connors, PMPnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-23618789067134618222009-11-13T19:15:00.001-08:002011-02-01T13:55:25.401-08:00

I can feel my eyes slowly glazing over. I'm not trying to, really. I am doing my absolute best to stay focused and present. After all, technically I am facilitating the meeting, right? Want me to talk to your gorilla? Send me an email Tuning back into the conversation… discussion… okay let's call it what it is, the knock-down, drag-out argument. I determine that, yes they are still on the

Joel Bancroft-Connors, PMPnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863208112914104006.post-79344383509036676522009-11-05T19:40:00.000-08:002011-03-22T13:35:07.086-07:00

  WHO IS HOGARTH? Welcome to the weekly team meeting!  It's six months to go until the product ships. We just finished a gripping argument on what constitutes a pass in the QA test benchmarks. I'm not sure but I think we settled on 95% pass rate, it might be 90% I'd have to check my notes. We are now doing a review of outstanding product change orders. Engineering wants to remove a major

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